This, of course, is not a recipe for being stupid. If you see an on coming hole that you're likely to fall into it's still good to make a plan for navigating around it.
A few lessons from my life that have contributed to this include...
- My friend Rick's guidance on the pain of riding your bike up a steep hill.
- This section from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land...
... "What's so special about the way the lad kisses?" ... "Mike gives a kiss his whole attention." ... "I've been kissed by men who did a very good job. But they don't give kissing their whole attention. They can't. No matter how hard they try parts or their mind are on something else. Missing the last bus - or their chances of making the gal - or their own techniques in kissing - or maybe worry about jobs, or money, or will husband or papa or the neighbors catch on. Mike doesn't have technique ... but when Mike kisses you he isn't doing anything else. You're his whole universe ... and the moment is eternal because he doesn't have any plans and isn't going anywhere. Just kissing you." ... "It's overwhelming."
- Somewhere near page 247
- A wonderful story that my friend Ian shared with me that he wrote when he retired from HP. He's given me permission to share it. See The Dust of Memories.
- Billy Collins' poem "Aimless Love", which I first read this morning.
- The stress equation, which first occurred to me many years ago...
Stress = Expectations - Reality
Of course, My System One hasn't learned this yet, but it feels like my System Two can now begin the gentle retraining process (see Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman). It seems to be a step along the path to enhanced joy for me and those who, for better or worse, interact with me.
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